Rejection Hurts But It Builds Character

October 2017 “it would be unethical to employ you as a disabled person.”

 October 2017 Mandela Washington Fellowship application, January 2018 you have been successfully shortlisted as a finalist, please choose your interview date and time, March 2018 we regret to inform you that you were unsuccessful.

 February 2019 United Nations Disability Officer application, March 2019 you have been shortlisted as a candidate for this role, May 2019 you are being invited to the written test interview on, June 2019 not invited to the oral interview.

I’ve always faced rejection…rejection is not new to me.

At age 10 I sat alone every break time in the courtyard as the only disabled student in the school. 3 years later in high school I wasn’t cool enough for the it girls. Years later I was rejected by my fellow countrymen in uni. I’ve faced rejection by potential lovers, friends, job interviews, uni applications you name it but none hurt as deep as the three  mentioned above, so deep the first one needs its own blog post.

Rejection is an all too familiar feeling so familiar I’ve become immune to it. Some may say that’s a traumatic response to rejection that prevents me from feeling and facing it head on but I say I’ve grown muscle to deal with it, all thanks to the three experiences of rejection shared above.

Mandela Washington Fellowship

I had always wanted to participate in the Mandela Washington Fellowship from the very first day it was announced as the Yali African Leaders Initiative. It didn’t help that one of my close friends was part of the first group that did YALI and met the Obamas. I envied this so much, I wanted to do this fellowship and it didn’t even make sense because I lived in Melbourne. Over the years the feeling didn’t go away so I shelved it at the back of my mind. When in September 2017 it was confirmed that I was leaving Melbourne for good I realized I could finally apply for the fellowship. And so I submitted my application a day before applications closed mid October.

November passed. December passed then mid January I received an email informing me that I had been shortlisted as a finalist. I was over the moon, finally my dream was coming to pass. I went for the interview and though I walked out confident, I didn’t get any good vibes from the all male panel.

Again I had to go through the waiting period. One Wednesday night I received a text message from a very excited friend asking me to check my emails to see if I had made it for the fellowship. I started sweating. I felt sick to my stomach. I opened my emails and there at the top was an email from the United States Embassy. I nervously opened it and immediately saw the words we regret to inform you…I didn’t even bother to read the rest of the email. My heart sunk. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t made it. I went into shock mode. I remember sending updates to the friends who had stood and believed with me to get this fellowship. I also remember tweeting something, switching off the TV and going straight to bed. The following morning, I woke up feeling depressed and I would be in this state for weeks over this rejection.

United Nations Disability Officer Job

In February 2019 I applied for the UNDP Disability Officer Role at the Harare office. Saying I wanted this job is an understatement, I REALLY REALLY WANTED this job.

I was overjoyed back in March  when I received an email informing me that I was one of the candidates under consideration for the role and they needed details of my disability in order to prepare for my participation in the next stage of interviews. This is my job I declared day after day.

Two months went by before I would hear from UNDP again inviting me to attend the written test interview. Again my confidence was on steroids, this was my job I continued to declare. I almost didn’t make it to the the interview on the day because of a grave mistake actually it was incompetence by the office lady at Hwindi taxis. Fortunately quick thinking by one of their awesome drivers ensured I actually made it for the interview. The written test interview was ok, well I didn’t know what to expect to be honest.

I returned home that afternoon very exhausted. Afterwards again I had to wait. One of the invigilators had said they would email us after two weeks. Two weeks passed no word. Another two weeks. And then another two weeks till it was end of June when I received a call from a friend informing me that the oral interviews were the following day. She wanted to know if I had been invited, it was in the moment I knew I hadn’t made it. She hadn’t been contacted either. I was crushed. I spent two weeks without updating anyone on the outcome, that’s how distraught I was.

Rejection Hurts But It Builds Character

To say I was crushed from these two rejections is an understatement. It honestly felt like my world had ended. How could I not get something I desired so much? I was angry at God. Other people always get what they ask for why didn’t you give me this, I screamed at God. With the fellowship it was worse because at the time in 2017 I was unemployed and had nothing to do. It was going to be my escape out of Zim for six weeks. With the UNDP job, it was going to bump me into a whole new financial bracket. Buying a car was one of the things I wanted to do. I also saw myself doing sushi Sundays every Sunday, potentially moving out from home, travelling-I was going to live the good life.

Everything always makes sense in hindsight. Looking back at it, had I been given these two opportunities; my life would have probably been negatively impacted. Had I been accepted for the fellowship I was going to come back to Zimbabwe empty handed because not going for the fellowship meant that I was able to get into self employment. Had I been accepted for the officer role, I wouldn’t be sitting here at 446pm writing this or planning tomorrow’s work.

As cliché as this sounds, rejection does build character.

Rejection causes you to think outside the box.

Rejection forces you to innovate.

Rejection drives you to work hard.

Rejection exposes you to the greatness inside.

Rejection catapults you into your destiny.

Rejection forces you to focus on the important and bigger picture.

Rejection makes you grow.

Rejection births new dreams.

Rejection opens your eyes to new opportunities.

Rejection does not kill you.

Rejection makes you stronger.

You have not missed out on what was meant for you-Morgan Harper Nichols